what the hell happened in 2009?
I guess I owe my many supporters an explanation. As you can tell, there have been very few updates to my website in the past year. After a prolific 2008 where my work sold out at two solo shows, I sold over half the pieces in a third and had many group shows, plus the Profane Existence magazine cover, I hit the wall.
I did not lack inspiration. I had many ideas, but every time I put brush to canvas I loathed whatever I produced. I did make art during 2009 and continued to show and sell, but I didn’t post most of it and I ended up canceling my 2009 solo shows. Why? Because my standards for my own artwork are higher. I was not happy with my work. … And also, I fell into a bout of depression.
It is embarrassing to publicly admit to depression- a sure weakness, but while I feel slightly crimson-cheeked over admitting it, I also feel defiantly brazen in announcing this to the world. Artists are right-brained people. The right brain houses emotion as well as creativity. We creative types dance with darkness. I’m a tough girl, but 2009 was just not my year. I did not sit in a corner and wallow. I fought it tooth and nail and struggled through the damn year… but it just wasn’t my year to soar. I finally walked away from the canvas. I postponed many commissions because I just could not bear to give my friends and supporters sub-par work. If I owe you artwork I’ve already spoken with you about this, but again, I apologize.
Sadly, it all began with an accusation made by a naïve and self-centered acquaintance that was so bizarre it shoved me off my axis. I lost focus. After that things sort of tumbled apart… here… there…. I was hit with financial devastation due to the failing economy. Despite trying hard to live DIY, the economy affected us all (artists, bands, DIY labels, etc) in a big way. I will not blame producing mediocre work on the economy, but the stress of needing an income did cripple my creativity and my entire life. Everything snowballed. Everything went wrong. Will got back from tour and his bands broke up and right after that our young cat, Thorfinn, was horrifically killed.
Ever have one of those years where everything goes wrong? 2009 was one of mine, but I’ll take it if 2010 is as good as 2008.
Not to be stopped in my tracks, I went back to school for digital media and I went back to my typewriter, where I began writing my second book. So, I wasn’t painting, but I was writing. I hope the result of those efforts will be ready for public view by 2011.
While I feel like I let a lot of fans, supporters and bands down in 2009, I started 2010 off properly. I’ve already produced more work this year than in all of 2009 and it is only February. So, thank you all for the understanding and support.
~ Regarding Thorfinn, I know a lot of people don’t care about cats, but as a vegan I believe human and animal lives are equal. (And to be quite honest, I like most animals more than most humans.) Thanks for all who understand how shocking his death was. Though we were devastated and shocked we immediately adopted two more cats. Sometimes all you can do is turn your attention toward others in need instead of wallowing in what cannot be changed. We didn't plan to have two more cats, but both were in desperate need of homes. It is a very full house now, with two humans a giant dog and three cats, but things are good. Just don't drop off anymore animals at our doorstep, thanks.
~ Amy Toxic
I did not lack inspiration. I had many ideas, but every time I put brush to canvas I loathed whatever I produced. I did make art during 2009 and continued to show and sell, but I didn’t post most of it and I ended up canceling my 2009 solo shows. Why? Because my standards for my own artwork are higher. I was not happy with my work. … And also, I fell into a bout of depression.
It is embarrassing to publicly admit to depression- a sure weakness, but while I feel slightly crimson-cheeked over admitting it, I also feel defiantly brazen in announcing this to the world. Artists are right-brained people. The right brain houses emotion as well as creativity. We creative types dance with darkness. I’m a tough girl, but 2009 was just not my year. I did not sit in a corner and wallow. I fought it tooth and nail and struggled through the damn year… but it just wasn’t my year to soar. I finally walked away from the canvas. I postponed many commissions because I just could not bear to give my friends and supporters sub-par work. If I owe you artwork I’ve already spoken with you about this, but again, I apologize.
Sadly, it all began with an accusation made by a naïve and self-centered acquaintance that was so bizarre it shoved me off my axis. I lost focus. After that things sort of tumbled apart… here… there…. I was hit with financial devastation due to the failing economy. Despite trying hard to live DIY, the economy affected us all (artists, bands, DIY labels, etc) in a big way. I will not blame producing mediocre work on the economy, but the stress of needing an income did cripple my creativity and my entire life. Everything snowballed. Everything went wrong. Will got back from tour and his bands broke up and right after that our young cat, Thorfinn, was horrifically killed.
Ever have one of those years where everything goes wrong? 2009 was one of mine, but I’ll take it if 2010 is as good as 2008.
Not to be stopped in my tracks, I went back to school for digital media and I went back to my typewriter, where I began writing my second book. So, I wasn’t painting, but I was writing. I hope the result of those efforts will be ready for public view by 2011.
While I feel like I let a lot of fans, supporters and bands down in 2009, I started 2010 off properly. I’ve already produced more work this year than in all of 2009 and it is only February. So, thank you all for the understanding and support.
~ Regarding Thorfinn, I know a lot of people don’t care about cats, but as a vegan I believe human and animal lives are equal. (And to be quite honest, I like most animals more than most humans.) Thanks for all who understand how shocking his death was. Though we were devastated and shocked we immediately adopted two more cats. Sometimes all you can do is turn your attention toward others in need instead of wallowing in what cannot be changed. We didn't plan to have two more cats, but both were in desperate need of homes. It is a very full house now, with two humans a giant dog and three cats, but things are good. Just don't drop off anymore animals at our doorstep, thanks.
~ Amy Toxic
THANKS!!!!!
Thanks to everyone who came out for the Renegade Art Show in Allston!
A ton of friends and new faces made it out and it was great to meet some people who’ve been following my work from a distance for a while!
A ton of friends and new faces made it out and it was great to meet some people who’ve been following my work from a distance for a while!
Changes on the way
This has been an interesting year for artistic experiences. In May of 08 I had a vision that I’ve been trying to force into life for an entire year. As May 09 arrives I’ve learned a terrible lesson: do not be co-dependent on other people for your art.
After long consideration I’ve decided to attempt a series free of people. I'm just completely sick of people to be honest. So, if you see a drastic change in my work you understand where it is coming from: the desire to rid humans from my creative process because as long as I’ve relied on others to make my work happen it has not happened the way I truly want it to.
After long consideration I’ve decided to attempt a series free of people. I'm just completely sick of people to be honest. So, if you see a drastic change in my work you understand where it is coming from: the desire to rid humans from my creative process because as long as I’ve relied on others to make my work happen it has not happened the way I truly want it to.
Amy Toxic curating the Boston Burlesque Expo Art Show!
Amy Toxic’s next show is at the Boston Burlesque Expo: Friday night, April 10 through Sunday night, April 12
at The Hyatt Regency
575 Memorial Drive
Cambridge, MA 02139.
The artists:
Participating Artists:
Jen Allen
Jenny Anckorn
Yvonne Blanco
J Chaos
Natasha Clayton
Laura Creecy
Scott Crystal
Gina Cura
Christine Elise
Kate Flock
Rachel Hadiashar
Katherine MacElhiney
Tony Maher
Modern Boudoir
Dan Perez
Alethea Roy
Amy Toxic
at The Hyatt Regency
575 Memorial Drive
Cambridge, MA 02139.
The artists:
Participating Artists:
Jen Allen
Jenny Anckorn
Yvonne Blanco
J Chaos
Natasha Clayton
Laura Creecy
Scott Crystal
Gina Cura
Christine Elise
Kate Flock
Rachel Hadiashar
Katherine MacElhiney
Tony Maher
Modern Boudoir
Dan Perez
Alethea Roy
Amy Toxic
March 4th at O'Briens: Amy Toxic, Ktron, Razors in the night and DJ LoWreck!
Amy Toxic is showing work March 4th at Obrien’s Pub with Razors In The Night and KTron.
Harvard Ave, Allston
Show starts at 9pm
One Night Only
Art and bands!
To Razors in the Night - good luck on tour!
Harvard Ave, Allston
Show starts at 9pm
One Night Only
Art and bands!
To Razors in the Night - good luck on tour!
News Archives February 09- August 08
News Archives:
February 09:
In the Works: 3D paintings and a massive writing project. “Prophecy boards” are on hold for now due to the economy.
January 09- March 09: AMY TOXIC’S FIRST SHOW OF THE YEAR!!!!!!
Amy Toxic will start showing in 2009 by taking part in
“A Bouillabaisse of Inspiration” at Empire State Tattoo Gallery
curated by Jeff Marsala
Opening January 3rd, 2009 at 7pm.
222 Merrick Road
Oceanside, NY 11572
516 414 4249
October:
METROPOLIS APOCALYPSE (L. E. S. Riot Era Artists 1988-2008)
October 9th – October 31st – with four nights of live music!
Supreme Trading
213 North 8 Street
Williamsburg Brooklyn, NY
11211
OPENING NIGHT- Thur Oct 9th:
-Thanks to Johnny V and Judy Sim for a great show at Supreme Trading in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY during the month of October!
September:
-- Amy Toxic solo show “Prophetic Prototypes” at Herrell’s sells out!
Thank you to Derek, Page and the very supportive people at Herrell’s Allston Café for the great show and for jumpstarting the underground art scene in Boston!
Very special thanks to Mark Lind and Brittany Gray who played an acoustic set at my opening!
Please check out more of Mark Lind’s music at:
www.myspace.com/marklind
http://www.duckyboys.com/
Also in September:
-- Amy Toxic solo show at Sister Sorel featuring the “RW Series”.
Sister Sorel at 645 Tremont Street in the South End. Sister Sorel shares a kitchen with the restaurant Tremont 647. This show will feature my “RW” series.
-Thank you to Joy, Chef Andy Husbands and everyone at Tremont 647 and Sister Sorel for a wonderful show during September!
And still in September….:
- Mouth Sewn Shut will be featured in the Boston Phoenix in July. Amy Toxic will supply the visuals for the article.
Special Thanks to Duncan Wilder Johnson and Nicole Tammaro:
To Duncan for coming to the rescue and being a friend I can trust to actually log into my website during a technical emergency and to fellow band photographer Nicole for the recommendation.
I owe you both!
FYI: Nicole is a Boston photographer and friend. We shoot some of the same bands, but many different ones. Please take the time to check out Nicole’s website:
Nicole Tammaro
Front man extraordinaire, spoken word artist and soon to be author, Duncan:
Thrashachusetts/ DWJ
OTHER NEWS:
Photography:
-Resistant Culture is preparing their next album “All One Struggle”. Some of the photos I took of them on their last East Coast tour (the same set of images used in Profane Existence) will be included in the album.
- Vitamin X is also releasing a new album, which will include photos of their last tour, including some I took at their Cambridge, MA show.
Illustrating:
- Look for Disaster Strikes new 7” “The Interrogation Sessions” (on Alternative Tentacles) to be released September 1st. Pre-orders are being taken now. I painted the cover art in 2 days.
- I also painted the cover art for a 7” split by the band TKC. (Featuring members of Disaster Strikes.)
- Old School Los Angeles band SMD is putting out a new 7” which will feature my illustration on the cover.
Thank you:
Duncan Wilder Johnson (spoken word artist and singer of Destruct-a-thon) for dropping my name in his AMP magazine interview. If you want to read Duncan’s interview, AMP magazine is available at Barnes and Noble, Interpunk.com and (subscriptions only) at Amazon.
(The magazine is also available at Hot Topic.)
Duncan's AMP interview was with Altercation Magazine's JT Habbersaat. (Duncan recently appeared in Altercation Magazine where he name-dropped me as well.) If you want to hear some great spoken word, occasionally co-starring Amy Toxic as a girlspeak interpreter, check out Duncan Wilder Johnson on the Altercation Comedy tour - soon to hit Austin, Texas.
Thanks again, Duncan!
February 09:
In the Works: 3D paintings and a massive writing project. “Prophecy boards” are on hold for now due to the economy.
January 09- March 09: AMY TOXIC’S FIRST SHOW OF THE YEAR!!!!!!
Amy Toxic will start showing in 2009 by taking part in
“A Bouillabaisse of Inspiration” at Empire State Tattoo Gallery
curated by Jeff Marsala
Opening January 3rd, 2009 at 7pm.
222 Merrick Road
Oceanside, NY 11572
516 414 4249
October:
METROPOLIS APOCALYPSE (L. E. S. Riot Era Artists 1988-2008)
October 9th – October 31st – with four nights of live music!
Supreme Trading
213 North 8 Street
Williamsburg Brooklyn, NY
11211
OPENING NIGHT- Thur Oct 9th:
-Thanks to Johnny V and Judy Sim for a great show at Supreme Trading in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY during the month of October!
September:
-- Amy Toxic solo show “Prophetic Prototypes” at Herrell’s sells out!
Thank you to Derek, Page and the very supportive people at Herrell’s Allston Café for the great show and for jumpstarting the underground art scene in Boston!
Very special thanks to Mark Lind and Brittany Gray who played an acoustic set at my opening!
Please check out more of Mark Lind’s music at:
www.myspace.com/marklind
http://www.duckyboys.com/
Also in September:
-- Amy Toxic solo show at Sister Sorel featuring the “RW Series”.
Sister Sorel at 645 Tremont Street in the South End. Sister Sorel shares a kitchen with the restaurant Tremont 647. This show will feature my “RW” series.
-Thank you to Joy, Chef Andy Husbands and everyone at Tremont 647 and Sister Sorel for a wonderful show during September!
And still in September….:
- Mouth Sewn Shut will be featured in the Boston Phoenix in July. Amy Toxic will supply the visuals for the article.
Special Thanks to Duncan Wilder Johnson and Nicole Tammaro:
To Duncan for coming to the rescue and being a friend I can trust to actually log into my website during a technical emergency and to fellow band photographer Nicole for the recommendation.
I owe you both!
FYI: Nicole is a Boston photographer and friend. We shoot some of the same bands, but many different ones. Please take the time to check out Nicole’s website:
Nicole Tammaro
Front man extraordinaire, spoken word artist and soon to be author, Duncan:
Thrashachusetts/ DWJ
OTHER NEWS:
Photography:
-Resistant Culture is preparing their next album “All One Struggle”. Some of the photos I took of them on their last East Coast tour (the same set of images used in Profane Existence) will be included in the album.
- Vitamin X is also releasing a new album, which will include photos of their last tour, including some I took at their Cambridge, MA show.
Illustrating:
- Look for Disaster Strikes new 7” “The Interrogation Sessions” (on Alternative Tentacles) to be released September 1st. Pre-orders are being taken now. I painted the cover art in 2 days.
- I also painted the cover art for a 7” split by the band TKC. (Featuring members of Disaster Strikes.)
- Old School Los Angeles band SMD is putting out a new 7” which will feature my illustration on the cover.
Thank you:
Duncan Wilder Johnson (spoken word artist and singer of Destruct-a-thon) for dropping my name in his AMP magazine interview. If you want to read Duncan’s interview, AMP magazine is available at Barnes and Noble, Interpunk.com and (subscriptions only) at Amazon.
(The magazine is also available at Hot Topic.)
Duncan's AMP interview was with Altercation Magazine's JT Habbersaat. (Duncan recently appeared in Altercation Magazine where he name-dropped me as well.) If you want to hear some great spoken word, occasionally co-starring Amy Toxic as a girlspeak interpreter, check out Duncan Wilder Johnson on the Altercation Comedy tour - soon to hit Austin, Texas.
Thanks again, Duncan!
News Archives:
- May 2008- My band photography is now hanging at the vegan restaurant and activist center ‘Scallywaggle’s’ in Allston, MA
Thanks to Matt Carroll
-April 2008- Solo show of recent works at GENO’s in Portland Maine, curated by Melynda. The show featured the series ‘Religious Wars’ and select illustrations.
Geno’s Rock Club
625 Congress st.
Portland, Maine 04101
-Spring 2008- Amy Toxic is the featured artist in Profane Existence Magazine issue #56.
The feature includes cover art, gallery and interview by long time zine writer Mel Hughes, editor of 'Direct Hit'.
PE #56 is available at www.profaneexistence.com
- Spring 2008: Look out for the new release by Short Changed “Burn Down Wagon Town”. All art by Amy Toxic. Images may be viewed in the “Illustrations” section.
- Winter 2008 :If you are interested in DIY punk rock, my photographs of the band “Resistant Culture” accompany their interview in Profane Existence issue # 55. Thank you to Resistant Culture, Dan and PE for including my images with the interview!
-Winter 2008: RED MERCH (a division of Sony) is selling t-shirts and totes bearing my "Headphones" image. The items will be available in stores across the US.
- Fall 2007: Look out for a new t-shirt design I drew for the band “Disaster Strikes”. The image can be viewed in the ‘Illustrations’ section of the website.
- Spring/summer 2007: Guest author on Barnes & Noble dot com
A. L. Carpenter and other authors from the book "The Plot Thickens" will be guest authors on Barnes and Noble's "Waiting for Harry" online discussion forum during the entire month of June.
If you like Harry Potter please stop by and discuss Rowling's upcoming book with us!
Discussion will be open to all Harry Potter related topics!
- Spring 2007: Split 7 inch.
German band SS Kaliert and Boston band Mouth Sewn Shut will be touring Europe together this spring. As part of the joint effort they will be releasing a split 7”. Torsten from SS Kaliert and DC Tours asked me to do the cover. Look for that in the next few weeks!
Thanks to Matt Carroll
-April 2008- Solo show of recent works at GENO’s in Portland Maine, curated by Melynda. The show featured the series ‘Religious Wars’ and select illustrations.
Geno’s Rock Club
625 Congress st.
Portland, Maine 04101
-Spring 2008- Amy Toxic is the featured artist in Profane Existence Magazine issue #56.
The feature includes cover art, gallery and interview by long time zine writer Mel Hughes, editor of 'Direct Hit'.
PE #56 is available at www.profaneexistence.com
- Spring 2008: Look out for the new release by Short Changed “Burn Down Wagon Town”. All art by Amy Toxic. Images may be viewed in the “Illustrations” section.
- Winter 2008 :If you are interested in DIY punk rock, my photographs of the band “Resistant Culture” accompany their interview in Profane Existence issue # 55. Thank you to Resistant Culture, Dan and PE for including my images with the interview!
-Winter 2008: RED MERCH (a division of Sony) is selling t-shirts and totes bearing my "Headphones" image. The items will be available in stores across the US.
- Fall 2007: Look out for a new t-shirt design I drew for the band “Disaster Strikes”. The image can be viewed in the ‘Illustrations’ section of the website.
- Spring/summer 2007: Guest author on Barnes & Noble dot com
A. L. Carpenter and other authors from the book "The Plot Thickens" will be guest authors on Barnes and Noble's "Waiting for Harry" online discussion forum during the entire month of June.
If you like Harry Potter please stop by and discuss Rowling's upcoming book with us!
Discussion will be open to all Harry Potter related topics!
- Spring 2007: Split 7 inch.
German band SS Kaliert and Boston band Mouth Sewn Shut will be touring Europe together this spring. As part of the joint effort they will be releasing a split 7”. Torsten from SS Kaliert and DC Tours asked me to do the cover. Look for that in the next few weeks!
